A Mom’s Journey Through Family Court

I never imagined my life would go like this. When Lucas and I first met, he was funny, charming, and then later, so gentle with Riley when he was born. I know Lucas loves our son—but love hasn’t been enough. I know Lucas didn’t really get why I stopped drinking when I got pregnant – and why I can’t have just one beer with him anymore.

Over time, his temper grew sharper, and the drinking became harder to ignore. Nights of slammed doors and harsh words turned into never-ending anxiety for me.  I tried to hold our little family together, but I can’t live with Lucas any longer. It isn’t safe for me, and it isn’t safe for Riley.

The hardest part is Riley doesn’t understand. He still lights up when Lucas walks into a room. When we first moved out, Riley constantly asked me when we’d go back – when we would all be together again. I still worry every day that Riley thinks this is my fault, that he’ll blame me for keeping him away from his dad. I remind him that both his parents love him, but I’m terrified he’ll feel abandoned. I know I did when my dad left.

Riley and I live with my mom now.  She means well, but support isn’t really her style. She tells me I should stay with Lucas and just ‘suck it up,’ the way she did when my sisters and I were little.

She never noticed when Lucas would randomly drop by smelling like beer, or worse, and wanted to take Riley out the park or for a burger.  She always said, “Sure, that’s fine”– no matter how many times I‘ve asked her not to let Riley get into Lucas’s truck anymore.  I was so scared for my son, for so long.

I have to work – I can’t be at home all the time. Waitressing is my best chance to be able to afford my own apartment. I need Mom’s help. But she just would not say no to Lucas, till the day Riley cried all night after going out with his Dad.  After that I told Mom that Riley and I would go to a shelter if she wouldn’t help keep him safe.  That finally woke her up.

I’ve spent hours at the courthouse trying to figure out parenting plans and legal forms that might give Riley some stability and officially protect him. The process is confusing, and every mistake seems to delay things even more. It was over a year with no progress.

I was ready to give up at the last hearing – our trial was delayed yet again. Then the commissioner appointed Riley’s CASA. I had no idea what that meant. Till I met Lauren, and she explained her role.

Laren turned out to be a lifeline. She actually listened—not just to Lucas and me, but to Riley. I can’t believe she’s a volunteer. It’s an incredible thing that someone cares enough to do this for people she doesn’t know. Lauren changed our lives. It was hard for me to talk to her at first -but I am so glad I did. I know I am not perfect – but I am working so hard to be the mom that Riley deserves.

Lauren gathered the facts, spoke with everyone involved, and wrote it all down for the court to see.  After 18 months, we finally have a parenting plan – and Lucas has to have his time with Riley professionally supervised till he gets treatment.

That breaks my heart – but at least they can see each other. And the official order finally convinced my mom that this is really serious.  Somehow, a judge signing it made it real for her.

It’s still hard, Riley and I both have healing to do, and I’m still worried. But for the first time in a long while, I feel like there is hope for us.  There is a path forward where he can grow up safe and maybe learn what love should look like.

And he can still see his Dad, even while Lucas works on getting his life together. It’s more than I had with my dad growing up.  It feels like a real chance for a better life for both of us.  And for Lucas, too.

Make a difference for children like Riley by giving them someone to listen and advocate for them in court.