Understanding Family Court as a Child

Riley was upset and sad when he and his mom moved out and left his dad behind.

Riley says: “Everything changed. I liked things the way they were. Mom never asked me what I wanted.”

Sometimes he stayed with his dad – but he never knew when that would be. Riley just wanted to know where he was going to sleep, who would pack his lunch, and who would spend time with him.

When parents separate and want to create a formal parenting plan, they must open a case in Family Court. Riley’s mom, Liz, thought a formal plan was the best way to keep Riley safe. But she had no idea how hard it would be.

Riley was five years old when his mom started the process. She told Riley that their family needed rules that would include a schedule for Riley, outlining where he would live, who would make big decisions, and how his parents would share Riley’s time.

Riley’s parents both loved him, but they were also working through hard things, recovering from substance abuse, mental health concerns, and painful relationship conflicts that Riley could not understand.

Riley says, ‘They yelled at each other a lot. I’d go to bed and hear them fighting. It was scary sometimes.”

He knew his Mom had been back and forth to the courthouse a lot. And that she was worried. Sometimes his grandma complained about all the work she was missing to babysit Riley.  And when he saw his Dad, Riley could tell he seemed really angry with his mom.

For Riley, this wasn’t about “plans.” It was about when he would see his dad, and when his mom would stop crying so much.

For a long time, nothing seemed to happen.

The truth was, every time a form wasn’t filled out right, or something wasn’t filed on time, Riley’s case stalled. And his parents could not agree on anything or afford lawyers to help them.

When the Court appointed a CASA for Riley things finally started to move forward.

His CASA, Lauren, gathered information from everyone—treatment providers, CPS workers, and more. She talked to both Riley’s mom and his dad. And Lauren talked to Riley.  

Riley says, “I like Lauren. She asked me about what I want, what I like. And what I don’t like. She played checkers with me – Mom and Grandma never play with me. It’s my favorite. I like to play with Dad.”

Riley told Lauren about his dad’s drinking, and the one day when the truck swerved all over the road on the way to the store. He also told Lauren how much he missed his dad.

Lauren put the puzzle pieces together and explained to the court what it all meant. She showed the court what life felt like for Riley. She helped the judge see that while the adults were arguing, Riley was growing up, still waiting for something better.

Riley’s case went on for 18 months.  That’s one-third of Riley’s life. And without Lauren, it would have been even longer.

Today, Riley has the stability he needs with his mom. And his dad has a treatment plan in place that will let him take a larger role in Riley’s life, when he can do so safely.

Riley says, “My mom is smiling more. I really like it when she smiles…I wish Mom and Dad still lived together.  But I get to see my dad again. And I don’t have to ride in his truck anymore. Dad says he’s getting better. I might even get to stay at his house sometime soon.”

Make a difference for children like Riley by giving them someone to listen and advocate for them in court.